we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
