smell my finger.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize