By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
