once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
