well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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