I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
