so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize