just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
