Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I want a musical about memes.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize