Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
