I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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