i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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