I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
