well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
So vagazzling was a success
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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