Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
