There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i dont even know how to be here
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
