shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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