i don't like sucking hair
i just had sex bonerless
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
