You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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