I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
