ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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