her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
And then my night got REAL pukey
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
