For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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