Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
