I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
