I think I died a long time ago.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
