Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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