What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
