last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
