I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize