dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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