help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
soo... how was my night?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
