Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize