He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Do vagina's smell?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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