You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I would ride that face into the sunset
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
