Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
