So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i dont even know how to be here
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Randomize
