I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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