hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Hippo gnu deer
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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