If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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