guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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