I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
