I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
