Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
