Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize