At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
