Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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