So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
