oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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