In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
