At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
