I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
