how can u be prego again
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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