Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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