My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
