I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
try to milk me bitch
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