I'm lost and stupid without you.
i already hear my dad disowning me
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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