So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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