Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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