His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
